Surviving is easy; living is hard



They say we should respect people who sacrifice for their families. No, actually nobody cares what someone did for his family. This society is selfish. People only pull u backward  and if u r lucky enough, u may find some to push u and to motivate u to the right path.
I am a guy. 34 years old, from a joint middle class family. We have everything at our home that is required to run a normal life.
My joint family consists of my mom dad, Bhaiya Bhabhi, their 3 daughters and me.
3 daughters coz they always wanted a male child. May be GOD was too kind on them and gave 3 beautiful daughters.
The elder one is 8 years old and she is my favorite; though I love all of them equally but being the first child, she is everyone’s favorite. I talk to her for hours after coming back from my work.
You must be thinking of my own children. Right?! I am single. Yes, at this age I am single.
I always wanted to marry a beautiful and intelligent girl. I had my own dreams.
After completing engineering from a private college; I got placed in a MNC. It’s been 12 years that I am working. I had a crush on a girl during my college time. After completing my  studies, I told my parents about that girl but they bluntly said NO for that girl. Reason : the girl’s father is not well to do, he may not give us so much of dowry. I protested but Indian parents are so good at emotional blackmail. My mom said she would die if I leave home or get that girl home.
She, then searched for a high class girl whose dad had a business. The girl was very egoistic and always lived a high class life. I got engaged to this girl. Somehow we both were way different. I wanted to talk about future, family and plans but she had interest in leaving this country and do some business in Sydney. I never wanted to leave my home. I clearly told her that I am not going to leave my family or my country. She ignored my words.
We got married in 2010. The same year I got an on-site assignment of US. My company sent me with my wife to US for 3 years.
These 3 years were none less than hell to me. Though first few months were good but she always lived in limelight and a show-off society which she was lacking in US. We had limited income and I wanted to save to get a home in India for me and my wife. She got pregnant but she aborted the child by excessive alcohol consumption. It’s like killing a soul. I wish I could slap her for this but I always wanted to live happily which never happened. I used to give half of my salary to her which too was not sufficient to fulfill her needs.
She used to shop clothes and shoes and purses almost everyday which I could not afford. I asked her from where she is getting all this money to buy stuff? She never replied to this question. We both were strangers living in the same flat. Somehow 3 yrs passed; we had no physical relationship since last 2 yrs. She stopped asking money from me.
We came back India and I asked her if she want to live in a separate house. She said,” I already have a house in another city, I am going there and please sign the divorce paper when I send them”.
I was shocked and shattered..later i got to know she had a rich boyfriend.
Her mom dad were unaware of her affair. I let her go… I too had some dreams but now I just have a dream to live peaceful life. I earn a 7-figure salary but that is not sufficient for someone who is a millionaire.
I signed my divorce paper an year back. Its painful to break or end relationships. People still think that I might have done something wrong to that girl but in my heart I know I m right. I have not done anything wrong or abusive to her. People say I tortured her; no its not true. Life has tortured me. I saw many dreams of my family, my child, my home but everything vanished just because of a wrong choice. What was my mistake in all these 4 years?? I got a tag “divorcee” when I was not even wanted to divorce her. I am called “male chauvinist” when I did not even dominate her or slapped her for killing our child. I am called “bechara” by my relatives.. A guy with a good rapport in office, a good salary and a good post is now a bechara.
No, I am not.
I don’t know what I am going to do in life; but I just want that everyone be loyal to their partner, or if u can’t be then tell ur partner about past but don’t destroy anyone’s life. Its difficult to live with such tags in this society. Please think of an innocent soul before ruining a life.


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