Surviving is easy; living is hard

cropped-1.jpg

 

They say we should respect people who sacrifice for their families. No, actually nobody cares what someone did for his family. This society is selfish. People only pull u backward  and if u r lucky enough, u may find some to push u and to motivate u to the right path.
I am a guy. 34 years old, from a joint middle class family. We have everything at our home that is required to run a normal life.
My joint family consists of my mom dad, Bhaiya Bhabhi, their 3 daughters and me.
3 daughters coz they always wanted a male child. May be GOD was too kind on them and gave 3 beautiful daughters.
The elder one is 8 years old and she is my favorite; though I love all of them equally but being the first child, she is everyone’s favorite. I talk to her for hours after coming back from my work.
You must be thinking of my own children. Right?! I am single. Yes, at this age I am single.
I always wanted to marry a beautiful and intelligent girl. I had my own dreams.
After completing engineering from a private college; I got placed in a MNC. It’s been 12 years that I am working. I had a crush on a girl during my college time. After completing my  studies, I told my parents about that girl but they bluntly said NO for that girl. Reason : the girl’s father is not well to do, he may not give us so much of dowry. I protested but Indian parents are so good at emotional blackmail. My mom said she would die if I leave home or get that girl home.
She, then searched for a high class girl whose dad had a business. The girl was very egoistic and always lived a high class life. I got engaged to this girl. Somehow we both were way different. I wanted to talk about future, family and plans but she had interest in leaving this country and do some business in Sydney. I never wanted to leave my home. I clearly told her that I am not going to leave my family or my country. She ignored my words.
We got married in 2010. The same year I got an on-site assignment of US. My company sent me with my wife to US for 3 years.
These 3 years were none less than hell to me. Though first few months were good but she always lived in limelight and a show-off society which she was lacking in US. We had limited income and I wanted to save to get a home in India for me and my wife. She got pregnant but she aborted the child by excessive alcohol consumption. It’s like killing a soul. I wish I could slap her for this but I always wanted to live happily which never happened. I used to give half of my salary to her which too was not sufficient to fulfill her needs.
She used to shop clothes and shoes and purses almost everyday which I could not afford. I asked her from where she is getting all this money to buy stuff? She never replied to this question. We both were strangers living in the same flat. Somehow 3 yrs passed; we had no physical relationship since last 2 yrs. She stopped asking money from me.
We came back India and I asked her if she want to live in a separate house. She said,” I already have a house in another city, I am going there and please sign the divorce paper when I send them”.
I was shocked and shattered..later i got to know she had a rich boyfriend.
Her mom dad were unaware of her affair. I let her go… I too had some dreams but now I just have a dream to live peaceful life. I earn a 7-figure salary but that is not sufficient for someone who is a millionaire.
I signed my divorce paper an year back. Its painful to break or end relationships. People still think that I might have done something wrong to that girl but in my heart I know I m right. I have not done anything wrong or abusive to her. People say I tortured her; no its not true. Life has tortured me. I saw many dreams of my family, my child, my home but everything vanished just because of a wrong choice. What was my mistake in all these 4 years?? I got a tag “divorcee” when I was not even wanted to divorce her. I am called “male chauvinist” when I did not even dominate her or slapped her for killing our child. I am called “bechara” by my relatives.. A guy with a good rapport in office, a good salary and a good post is now a bechara.
No, I am not.
I don’t know what I am going to do in life; but I just want that everyone be loyal to their partner, or if u can’t be then tell ur partner about past but don’t destroy anyone’s life. Its difficult to live with such tags in this society. Please think of an innocent soul before ruining a life.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s